Through my perusal of Lyme forums and my own experience – I can say it seems that for many folks dealing with this, there are times when we just aren’t ourselves. This ish is totally unreal. There have been times I’ve needed so much rest I can’t accomplish the things I need or want, and that just isn’t me. So, then I get all down on myself; feeling like I’ve morphed into nothing more useful than a sack of potatoes which then leads me to this sad / emo / I-want-to-punch-myself state. On some occasions, I’ve tried to avoid the sad emo-ness, so I push myself through the exhaustion. The downfall here, is that this gets me to the point where I become withdrawn and begin to lose cognitive agility. I’ll end up doing something non-sensical like wandering about my apartment trying to remember what I am looking for, trying to remember what I set out to do a few moments before or fail to actively engage and focus in on a conversation that someone is having with me. I had to find a way to feel better about this, the not-me feeling has driven me to tears on multiple occasions. I had to begin to see this aspect of illness and recovery differently; as a time to check out and disassociate the Lyme brain from MY brain.
When the extreme fatigue kicks in, I basically have started saying, “Okay, Lauren, see you in a bit.” Things have to go on hold, and the people closest to me have come to understand this now. From that point, until I restore my baseline energy, I am 9-drop Zombie (I’m referring to my medication dose – usually the higher the does the better the chance of a herx or knock-down, drag out fatigue, thus ‘X # of drops’) or Pseudo Sloth Self, “I am experiencing my Pseudo Sloth Self this evening,” or “Don’t mind the 9-drop zombie.” What does a 9-Drop Zombie or a Pseudo Sloth do? They rest. It’s best if they just rest. I quickly learned of the frustrations that come from attempting to function in this state that the longer I push against it, the longer it will last, and the less productive I become. The best bet is to accept that the Pseudo Sloth has checked in and go to sleep or minimize activity as much as possible, as soon as possible. Obviously everyone has different demands in life but rest it out as best you can, and then get back to life.
Here’s to savoring all of that precious energy and trudging on toward total recovery!
Namaste, beautiful loves!
LaurieLye
Lemons for Lyme 